Continuing the theme

I don't want anyone to get the wrong impression that this is an obsession of mine.  I really almost never think about it.

But in my inbox this morning was an ad for ballet lessons for homeschoolers in our local area.  Part of it went as follows:

Dress Code: 
A pink leotard is ideal but any color leotard or swimming costume is fine. Alternatively leggings with a fitted t' shirt will suffice. 

My immediate thought was, "what about the boys?  Is that what they wear in class, too?"

Well, obviously not.  Obviously the boys have simply been overlooked as possible ballet students, and the teacher has forgotten to mention the boys' uniform in her ad.

No harm done, no big deal, right?

Well, sort of.  But much like my previous post about casual sexism with homeschooling dads, these sorts of public writings both show and reinforce gender stereotypes of what is socially acceptable for boys and men to do.  This ad shows that the teacher's vision of her class didn't include boys.  And when parents read the ad those with boys will be less likely to consider signing their sons up.

Fortunately, we attend a ballet school (Rowe Dance) in which boys are very welcome.  About half of the students in Mulan's ballet class are boys, and the teacher also teaches separate boys-only ballet classes.

For this reason alone we would support attending Meaghan Rowe's classes, but on top of that she is a great teacher and also her classes are cheaper than this homeschooling one.

Casual sexism?

The AHE (Auckland Home Educators) conference is happening in a couple of weeks.

I know this because they've been advertising on a few of the Facebook homeschooling groups I am subscribed to.  One repeated ad went as follows:

So what DO Dads do? What role do they play? What’s their perspective? 

Don’t miss out on the “Dad’s Panel” at the AHE conference in two weeks time. A bunch of experienced homeschool fathers will share how they are involved in the home-schooling journey and respond to your questions. 

The panel includes [five names].

In all seriousness (to get an idea if it was worth me going to the conference), I replied to one of the more actively commented ads, asking whether any of the dads were the main homeschool parent.

My question was ignored, though the poster of the ad sent me a private message to say that she is friends with a homeschooling dad.  I guess this means that none of these conference panelists are the main homeschooling parent.  (I'd be very happy to be corrected if I am wrong.)

Let's put that aside for a moment.

Suppose there was a medical conference.  And suppose that at that medical conference there was a panel discussion called "Women's Panel", which asked the question of what role women play in hospitals.  Now, it would seem a little odd (at least to me) if all the panelists at that discussion were receptionists, cleaners and part-time junior staff.  Moreover, it would seem a little odd (at least to me) if, in reply to a question about whether any of the women there were doctors or nurses, one were privately messaged by someone saying that they are friends with a woman doctor.

But let's return to the topic of the homeschooling conference.  And at the risk of being boringly pedantic, I'll spell out my thoughts more directly.

As we know, in almost all of the homeschooling families the dad is the main money-earner while the mum is the main day-to-day educator.  That is, the dad is part of the essential support (like receptionists, cleaners and part-time junior staff in hospitals), without which the institution would probably very soon collapse.  But his role is not to be full-time involved in the core function of the institution (medicine for a hospital; education for a homeschooler).

With this in mind, it is understandable that, at a practically-focused homeschooling conference, the emphasis should rightly be on giving advice/information on how main-money-earning dads can also get involved, in a part-time way, in the educational side of things.  So, it makes sense that a majority of panelists on a "Dad's Panel" should be experienced "support staff", rather than main homeschooling parents themselves.

But is it right that all of the panelists are support staff, not main homeschooling parents?

I say no.

Firstly, there are some of us dads who are the main educators, and we may be interested in hearing the wisdom of other, more experienced, dads-as-main-educators.

But secondly, and more importantly, this is an issue of gender roles and casual sexism.  Just as in the early days of feminism (and sadly sometimes still today) we needed to go that extra distance to acknowledge and promote women's inclusion in male-dominated professions, so too do we now need to acknowledge and promote the possibility of men as full-time stay-at-home homeschooling parents.  Having one full-time homeschooling dad on the panel would raise the possibility in people's minds that such a thing is possible, and hopefully take that little step towards reducing gender-role prejudices.

Consequently, I say, on these sorts of panels and at these sorts of conferences we should have at least one dad who is the main homeschooling parent.

If you think I am overreacting, underneath some of the Facebook ads for the "Dad's Panel" was this picture:

Sigh!  Really?!

I mean, in other contexts it is kinda funny and cute.

But used to advertise a panel discussion at a conference where they are discussing the role of homeschool dads?

It just reinforces those sexist notions that the dad could never, gasp, actually be the kid's teacher.  That his role is, dare I say it, one of sexual titillation and amusement.

I have a sudden urge to burn my g-string.